The one and only

While checking my blogger, I've realized that I'd written eleven essays about so many things I was taught during the past few years. However, I've also realized that there is such an important topic I haven't written about yet about which this essay will be. I'll write about the one I love most; the closet one to me in life.

The one who literally changed my life to the better and guided me through my way. Changed my path and put me in the correct road towards whatever I want to achieve. Has shown me the right and the wrong and left me the freedom to choose between them. Has always been there to lift me up when nobody else has. Sends me so many messages whenever I'm about to mess up. Sometimes puts obstacles in my way to teach me how to be strong. Whenever I feel lonely or unloved, I remember that He's there which is more than enough. He's trustworthy and He never rejects my requests.

However annoying I might be to everyone,He has never found me annoying. On the contrary, whenever I ask for help or advice, He listens and never gets bored. Whenever I talk to Him and even if I'm feeling so much down, I just feel so relieved and confident, as if my refresh button has been selected. I've displeased Him hundreds of times, however, every time I apologize He accepts my apology. Sometimes I seek happiness and strength away from Him, but then I find out how wrong I was and return to Him to find Him accepting me back! Actually, He's never turned me down. In the darkest times, He's always there to send me some signs of hope. 

He loves me and He's so close to me. You know? He's so close to you as well. He's done the same things to you and sends you the same messages everyday. I think you should have known Him by now. Allah.

Allah is the one who loves you more than anybody else does simply because He's the one who MADE you!

You're His slave. Allah is the one who created you to make this earth a good place to live in. He didn't create you to torture you in Dunya or to see you miserable, on the contrary, He wants you to be happy in Dunya and in Al-Akhera too. That's why He wants you to be close to Him . That's why when you disobey Him, He'll be waiting for you to repent.That's why when you decide to turn back to Him, he forgives you however hardhearted you were.That's why whenever you pray to Him, He's there to make it come true. 

Allah is great, and whoever hasn't tried walking down Allah's road has missed a lot indeed. Just give it a try, I SWEAR you won't regret it and you won't be able to choose a different path afterwards. Love Him, love Him deeply because He deserves your love not only your fear. 

" Now I know how it's like to have a precious love in my life, now I know how it feels to finally be at peace inside, I wish that everybody knew how amazing it feels to love you, and I wish that everyone could see how your love has set me free, set me free and made me strong" Maher Zain - I love you so.

هيحصلك ايه؟

فكرة "هيحصلك ايه" جاتلي لما حصل معايا موقف معين -مش فاكرة الموقف ده دلوقتي - خلي واحد اعرفه -بس مش اوي- يقولي انه شايفني عنيفة او بلطجية من الاخر بس هو اتكسف يقولها.انا ساعتها اضيقت نسبيا مش عشان هو شايفني كده بس لأنه مش اول مرة يقولها و بقي بيقولها علي الفاضي و المليان كل ما يشوفني ف وشه تقريبا.
اكتر جملة كانت ف دماغي ساعتها "وانت مالك" يعني حتي لو انا عنيفة ده ممكن يكون عاملك مشكلة ف ايه؟ هيحصلك ايه يعني لو بطلت ترميلي نفس الكلمتين كل شوية؟ 
لو احنا طبقنا نفس الكلام علي نفسنا هنلاقي ان احنا بنعمل حاجة شبه كدة.  نازلين تريقة علي خلق الله و بنقول تعليقات سخيفة ملهاش اي لازمة عن اي حد ولا كأننا مفيناش عيوب!!

مش بنستفيد حاجة غير اننا بنضحك و ننبسط 5 دقايق مثلا شوف بناخد عليهم ذنب قد ايه! يعني الموضوع مش ممتع اصلا, عشان كدة لازم نبطل العادة دي و علي فكرة هنعيش يعني مش هيحصلنا حاجة!يعني مثلا, هيحصلك ايه لو بطلت تجيب ف سيرة الناس؟ هيحصلك ايه لو بطلت تعاكس بنت او تعلق علي طريقة مشيتها او لبسها لمجرد انها شكلها بالنسبالك مستفز؟!هيحصلك ايه لو بطلت تقول علي البنت اللي عندها حدود ف كل حاجة و بتتعامل باحترام معقدة؟ هيحصلك ايه لو بطلتي تتريقي علي البنت  اللي لبسها مش عاجبك؟ 

هيحصلك ايه لو بطلت تقول علي حد "بيئة" بس عشان هو من مستوي اجتماعي مختلف عن مستواك؟ هيحصلك ايه لو بطلت تقول علي المنقبة خيمة؟ يا سيدي انت مش مقتنع بالنقاب هي مقتنعة بيه!هيحصلك ايه لو بطلت تحرج الناس بكلامك ؟ هيحصلك ايه لو بطلت تقول علي بنت انها مش محترمة لمجرد ان في اشاعة بتقول كده؟! طب هو انت اتعاملت معاها عشان 
تعرف تحكم علي شخصيتها !هيحصلك ايه لو بطلت تتريق علي طريقة كلام فلان؟ و هي طريقته دي مضيقاك ف ايه يعني؟!

هيحصلك ايه لو بطلت تستخف دمك علي صاحبك و تطلع كل عيوبه قدام الناس؟ ما يمكن هو بيضايق بس مش بيقول علي اعتبار ان انت المفروض تحس لوحدك. هيحصلك ايه لو بطلت تشتم عمال علي بطال؟ هيحصلك ايه لو بطلت تصنف الملتزم  علي انه متخلف؟
هيحصلك ايه لو بطلت تستحقر اي حد ارائه السياسية مختلفة عن ارائك؟او دماغه مختلفة عن دماغك عامة؟ مش مطلوب منك انك تقبل رأيه او تقتنع بيه بس كفاية انك تفهم ان مش كل الناس بتفكر زيك. هيحصلك ايه لو بطلت تستهتر باحساس الي حواليك؟

اللي انا عايزة اقوله انه في ناس ممكن تاخد الحاجات دي ببساطة بس في ناس تانية مش كدة. الحاجات دي بتستفزها و انا واحدة منهم عامة و بيبقي معانا حق عشان هي فعلا حاجات مستفزة! و من الاخر مش هيحصلك حاجة لو قررت انك متهتمش بيها عشان هي اساسا متخصكش. والله حياتنا هتبقي احسن شوية لو كل واحد خلي الجزء الاكبر ف حياته ليه علاقة بيه هو مش بالناس

Why "breaking free" ?

Has any of you thought about the blog's name? I mean haven't you wondered why I've called it breaking free? Well,I should have written this earlier but this is what I am writing about today.

Let me first remind you of what the previous five posts were talking about.

In case you noticed , my previous posts were talking about the problems I've been facing since the end of my senior year at school. They were talking about how leaving school and not being able to see my teachers,my best friends and my colleagues as much as before, affected me deeply. About how meeting new people at university and adapting to them and their way of thinking was such a difficult thing for me to do. About my fear of acting myself just because others may not feel interested in my personality. As you can see , none of these is a positive thought. I can even remember that when I wrote my first post , a colleague told me that it was very depressing and he was right.This is because I decided to create that blog for some reasons ; to reveal what I really feel because writing is what I usually turn to when I feel bad and I was really depressed when I started to write. Moreover, to find something to do in my leisure time.And the most important reason , is to FREE myself. Free myself from all those negative thoughts which took over me and turned me into a different person than whom I really am.Because for me and after looking at them from a different perspective, such ideas were nothing but chains hindering me from moving on. Preventing me from enjoying the beginning of a new chapter in my life;the most important chapter on which my future depends.They were obstacles in my way towards my biggest dreams.But how can I break those chains? How can I get over those obstacles? It began with facing myself that nobody has put those ideas in my mind,I was the one who did so. Therefore,I chained myself. I am the one who opened the door to this prison and all what I had to do is just to escape.Escape by believing in my abilities. By caring more about what I think about myself and less about what people think about me .By keeping all the bitter memories aside as long as they cause me nothing but pain and keeping all the sweet ones which make me delighted in my heart.By remembering that this way of thinking won't help me overcome my fear of this new unknown chapter , it will just make this fear grow more.By remembering that the existence of some people in my life will help me to conquer the obstacles however tough they are.Above all , by believing that ALLAH made me feel that way for a specific reason, maybe because he wanted me to be more self-confident and more certain of myself.

Finally, YOU can be your first enemy if you don't know how to control your thoughts and if you allow them to imprison you the same way mine did to me.You are your first enemy if you allow them to cripple you and to take away your self confidence.So,believe in yourself more and don't you ever permit the echo of your negative thoughts to take over you.

Do you get it now? Why I called it breaking free? :')